I can remember living on top of a shop that had an escape route with ladders from my bedroom window...

Little did I know what I know now, that I could've used that route if my legs were not tied and my hands help down while being battered, I was only 5 and beaten so often that it became a way of life.

I would wet the bed in fear of waking the man my mum had married, not my dad he would often tell me, you belong to your whore mother, I will use you like I do her.

Out came the fists and belt, I can still feel it even to this day.

A time came when that man beat me so hard that he got off on me crying, made me touch him even touch me. I was put in the hospital when I turned 7 for asking to stay at my Aunties, I was beaten so bad that my mother didn't know who I was, then she told me that I had asked for it and that the next beating would get worse for her.

And they did, she turned to drink and drugs to hide what was happening, would leave me alone in a locked house, no heating just a blanket and baby rusks for food. Never had I sat and ate a proper meal.

The man she married was not the only one to use me, my mums brother took it upon himself to sexually molest me, then my grandfather. I had nowhere to go nobody to tell, just me on my own in my own little world.

I shall cut this short as its upsetting me but the abuse didn't stop until I turned 14! I met my husband, but now I still feel used. I don't like sex, can't stand to be touched!

I was sexually abused at the age of 10 by a cousin.

I'm now 36 yrs and to this day I can't get it out of my mind...He did serve a few years in jail...not too many people knew what happened to me...

My daughter was sexually molested by my uncle...At the time she was 10 and she is 12 now...He only got 6 months house arrest and 12 months probation... He didn't get no jail time...the incident happened at my mom's house.

To this day she is afraid to go there cuz she thinks he will be there...he can't have no contact with her...

It started when I was 8 or 9, my grandfather decided I should be used for his pleasure and actied as if I was an object I guess the phrase I will use. He never beat me or touched me he always made me touch him. He would wait until my grandma went to bed and he would get out a massager and ask me to massage his legs and then things would happen.

I to this day don't know why I just didn't say no, I think I thought he's the boss I cant say no. I would wake up in the middle of the night with him masterbating over me, scared and confused I did not know what to do so I pretended to be asleep.

To this day I have a hard with certain things that should be normal and yet I see them as dirty.

I don't voice this but my husband doesn't understand why I act the way I do about certain things. I don't he would understand unless hes been through it.

I'm not sure where to begin with my story.

But let's start here.

In May 2004 I filed for divorce because of Abuse to myself and my 4 children. During the temp order I was given a protective order for myself and my children. But my ex was still given 3 hours of unsupervised visits with the children every 1, 3 and 5 weekend of the month. During this time he left bruises on my 9 year old daughter which was 8 at the time. I called CPS and nothing was done. He also was drinking and driving with them.

He was living in a house who housed over 20 men. I told CPS nothing was done. During this time I was also reporting all of this to my lawyer...My daughter even took pictures of the house and all the rented rooms that were in this one house. It was filthy needless to say...there was even a chain to the refrigerator...Like I said pictures were taken by my daughter...finally CPS went out and stopped the children from being able to go there...then comes the final divorce hearing CPS brought pictures and everything was heard about the past at home when we were married. Family violence was proven, I asked for supervised visits for my children and it was not given.

He was still given 3 hours the 1, 3, and 5 weekends of the month. The visits went on for 6 months during this time he moved 5 times and I started to notice bruises on my 9 year old daughter and each time called CPS again nothing was done...Also during this time he tried to run me off the road twice one of the times he had my children with him. I called 911 on my cell phone. He was stopped but nothing was done other then him getting a ticket for my daughter not having a seatbelt. I asked what about the protective order it fell on deaf ears.

My daughter started to cry at each visit fighting not to have to go with him...I called my lawyer she said not to push it because he had such limited time as it was... I keep telling her, CPS and the police something was not right here. But from them all they said you have a court order you must send them...against by better judgment I keep sending them...because I was scared of getting into trouble and every lawyer I talked to in this town wouldn't take this back to court.

On my last visit that my daughter went to she tried to jump out of a moving van kicking and screaming not to have to go with him. I went into the police station where we exchanged the children and begged them to help me and was told it was a civil matter and they couldn't get involved. So I was forced to send her yet again...

2 days later he finally went to court for the 3rd of 7 broken protective orders. He was already on probation for 1 broken protective order. These 2 should have been a felony but guess what those 2 were done as one so therefore he only got 45 days in jail. and didn't even have to stay that was because he was let out early on good behavior but 2 days before he was let out my friend and I went to pick my daughter up from school and I told her he was due for release in 2 days...and that's when she told me he had been touching her on her little breast and pinching them and asking her what kind of food was in that and kissing her on her mouth and kissing her on her chest. My friend and I took her straight to the police station and made a report. We also called the CPS...and she was sent to the child advocacy center where she was interviewed along with the police and CPS...when it was over the police told me that it was inappropriate behavior but not enough for a case...but the CPS would pick it up and take care of it...well needless to say they didn't. I was told I was her protector and they couldn't get into the middle of a custody battle...I told them this had nothing to do with custody... that I had custody...this was about the safety of my children...again it fell on deaf ears...I called my lawyer again and was told again not to rock the board that he had such limited visits to just keep sending them...

But I haven't sent them anymore...I promised my daughter the day she told me what he did to her...that I would never made her go again and I haven't. I know by doing this that I'm breaking a court order but my daughters safety is more important and CPS was right about one thing...I am her protector and I intend from here on out to protect her at all cost...

It's been almost 10 months since I taken her to the police station to exchanged the children for visits...But during this time he hasn't been either...My guess is he knows she told me...we also have a 5 year old son together whom he hit on but nothing as major as what he did to our little girl...It has taken many months of counseling and her learning to trust me again not to send her.

But she is getting better everyday and one day when I get the money, I will take this back to court and hire a lawyer who will fight for us...and the safety of my children.

I have called every higher up I can think of for help and I keep getting sent to someone else...and like a dead end everywhere I turn...I know there are laws to protect our children but they are not being applied here in this county.

But I suggest to any parent listen to your children and so what you have to do to protect them even if it means breaking a court order...because our children safety is more important then anything in the world.....

Terri

My story is not like the rest of yours.

My children have never been abused and I was never sexually abused. But I did grow up in a very volitile household. My grandparents raised me, my mother being only 17 was not equipped to do it properly.

The first couple of years were normal. About the time I turned 8 my grandparents started fighting all of the time. At first it was just yelling and screaming, but as the fighting increased so did the violence.

My grandmother would beat my grandfather, pull out his hair, knock out his teeth and then she would start to beat herself.

These episodes at first were very few and far between but then they would come with more frequency and rage.

About the time I turned 10 I had become the target of my grandmothers tiraids. She would sit for hours and belittle and demean me. If I didn't give the proper responses to her I would be slapped, kicked, have my hair pulled or be spit on.

These things went on for years.

On top of that we were always moving. I went to 12 elementary schools, 9 middle schools and 3 high schools. By the time I reached high school things were awful at home.

I would go to school everyday no matter how sick I was.

I once broke my wrist at school but didn't tell anybody until that night so I wouldn't have to go home. My school counselors tried to intervene, but that only made things worse.

At this point in time is when she tried to kill my grandfather twice. The first time she tried to stab him with a butcher knife. He put his arm up to block the blow but he still ended up with 10 stitches.

The next time she tried to shoot him. He was outside trying to avoid her, she went and grabbed the gun and started shooting at him.

Luckily she was a bad shot and he had the tree's to cover him. He never went to the police with any of this. At this same time I came home late one night and my grandmother met me at the door. She pulled me in by my hair and slammed me into a brick wall head first several times.

I remember being dizzy and being yelled at after but not much else. Things got bad, what used to be a once in awhile occurance began to happen almost daily.

You had to watch what you said to her, how you said it and you couldn't look at her being in the same room with her would give me cold sweats.

When I was 17 is when I finally got away. My grandmother was in one of her moods, she came into my room threw me on the floor and proceeded to beat me with her fists.

She then kicked me out of the house. I left with what few things I could grab, walked a mile down our driveway and hitched a ride into town. I got ahold of a friend of mine and his parents let me stay there.

They noticed my bruises and called the police. I had to go make a statement.

Needless to say nothing happened to her - she got off with a warning. But she consented to let me live with my mother.

I still cannot be in the same room with that woman without feeling fear. She is still the same way to this day only now the only person she has to abuse is my grandfather.

I have tried to get him to leave but he won't. I just pray one day he will leave before she kills him.

BROKEN SILENCE (SHORT STORY)

Hello, my name is Chong Kim. I am an Asian-Spanish American, thirty-one years of age and have been residing in the United States for nearly 22 years. I will be sharing my whole story in an essay form. It’s about my survival from child rape, living in domestic violence, enduring classroom abuse, and racism, bullying and human trafficking. After everything I’ve gone through I have managed to still stand and smile at everyone and look at life at a different angle.

I was born in S. Korea in 1975 and I was told that my father and I arrived in the United States in 1977 and afterwards my mother. From the age of 3-6, I was sexually abused by my babysitter who not only touched me in a sexual way, but also photographed me and other small children through his Polaroid camera. For the longest time I assumed I was only dreaming even though I knew the man personally, it was when I was 13 when I found out that all the years of nightmares of flashbacks of the despicable acts he did to me were actually true. From the time I was very young till I was 15, I grew up with a mother that physically beat me, tortured me, and threatened to kill me day in and day out. There were moments where my mother would punish me by stripping me nude and locking me outside when it was raining and I was only 6 years old for hours long. I was so cold that I hid in one of our broken dryer and wrapped myself in an old blanket I found in the garage. My father was a workaholic so he was never home when my mother violently beat me, but when he was he had drinking parties where his friends also took advantage of me, I was raped and molested by several of his friends. While growing up in an abusive home, I was taken advantage of by male principals and teacher molesting me and forcing me to have oral sex with them while I was 8 years old thru 11, along with teachers who hated me and called me “Chink” or “Gook” if I got out of line. I grew up in the rural parts of Texas and Oklahoma so racism wasn’t uncommon; at least that’s how they acted. By the time I was 14 to 15, I ran away from home, I couldn’t take the abuse and landed in the system, bouncing from one foster home to another.

During my time in the “Child Protection System” I spent most of my youth in and out of court with a long dreaded custody battle between the states and my parents, when I saw my youngest sister crying and became concerned about her welfare I gave up and recanted my story and stated that everything I went through was a lie, otherwise they would’ve separated each one of us and I couldn’t have that happened. So, by the time I was 17 I was sent home. The physical abuse from my mother didn’t continue but the underlining emotional and mental abuse was still there. By the time I was 18; I moved out and moved in with a friend in Dallas , TX . I attended a business college and majored in “Criminology”. In my second year I was romanced by a con. A man that was in military attire and claimed to love and cherish me because I had no dating experience and I had a low self-esteem I was not aware of the red flags. I was handcuffed to the door knob and was held hostage in an abandon warehouse in Northern Oklahoma . While I was his prisoner he destroyed my social security card, Naturalized papers, driver’s license and anything that could authenticate my identity. He stated to me that without these documents I would be treated like an immigrant and he was correct.

Eventually I eluded him and escaped and landed upon a woman that I thought I could trust. She offered to help me find refuge, shelter, and food by sending me to Vegas for a legitimate job. I accepted her offer without realizing that I was being sold for market. “Human Trafficking”. When the two gentlemen came to pick me up in a black SUV van, I became hesitant, but I was afraid of running, I felt that either way they could catch up to me, besides we were at a vacant parking lot and there was no one around but me, the two gentlemen and the woman. I was later handcuffed; blind folded and later had a potato sack over my head and was transported to Las Vegas , NV . To this day, I am still haunted by flashbacks regarding certain smells, as well as cold floors which numbed my bare feet. Many times, panic ensues when I find myself in a line of women; it resurrects the nightmares of all the humiliating inspection line-ups I had to endure. We were constantly paraded before a potential client; their lustful eyes examining and perusing us before we became final choices for each predatory customer.

I was involved in trafficking for more than six months. I compare that time to being held hostage in a timeless existence where my mind engaged itself in disassociation with my soul. This mental state was the only way in which I could keep any sanity. Repeatedly, I witnessed the beatings, rapes and murders of innocent women. At times, my tears of hopelessness would drown me into pathos of my own execution. How could my own country not be aware of these cruelties? How this kind of discrimination and slavery could be given the power to blind immigrant and American women of their rights?

We were transported by trucks with drivers who were not naive to our purpose, and well informed of our identity. After months of these transports for trafficking our self-images had been reduced to cattle being loaded on a cattle car. Thousands of dollars were exchanged on these cross-country trips which kept us silent and our existence a secret. There were times that the warehouse truck would stop, the tail gate door forced opened, and then two or three were summoned out. The quick shower and change of clothing signaled our soon “rendezvous” with the ‘johns’ who requested for us. The women were released a few at a time as not to raise any suspicion.

Selections of adult-aged women and minor girls (who were under the age of sixteen) usually numbered between twenty and fifty. The adult women were expected to resemble a late teen. If they would not comply they were discarded, cast-out, and some were never heard from again. We were constantly monitored, forbidden to make eye contact with anyone in public areas. When we arrived at our destination, the women were separated into motel rooms. We traversed the very rural area of Nevada , North Carolina , Pennsylvania , Texas , California, Florida, and New York . We were never paid directly; however, later on I discovered that it would turn more money if clients were deceived into thinking that all of us were immigrants.

Finally, I was able to escape from my master through a wealthy client who bought me for an undisclosed amount of money. He was an older gentleman with considerable influence. Through his kindness I planned my way of another escape. Coming to terms with my situation, I ran away from the ‘john’ who bought me. Fearing the possibility of being kidnapped and returned to Las Vegas , I began to seek refuge in churches, seeking their assistance in my quest for deliverance and freedom. Upon leaving Nevada , I was constantly on the run from former pimps. My life resembled a fugitive fleeing from one location to another. In the fall of 2000, I made contact with an advocate through the Internet, she advised me to relocate to a different state. Since then, I slowly began to heal, trust, and reinvent myself to return to society to make positive contributions. I long to reach out to those who are still imprisoned in the revolving door of sexual exploitation. Truly, their shackles can be broken by people who are willing to tear down the walls of silence, and offer them the hope of freedom. They robbed me of five years; they thought they could break me. Yet, I am still standing and I will stand and voice my experience for the victims who are still held in captive of human trafficking.

Thank you for listening. . . .

When do you know your child is safe? You teach them from a tiny age until they are a grown woman, you do not let anyone put their hands on you. When she married I thought I had done my job. She had 3 beautiful children. But met up with the girl down the street from her and this is where it all changed.

It started with her and her "friend" going out on the weekends then she "met" someone with whom she had an affair with. Oh he did a number on her. He told her everything she wanted to hear. Soon after, she asked her husband for a divorce. He moved out and the new guy moved in. Only to make her lose her home, her children, her self respect, her car, everything. Her husband would give her money to pay the rent and it was never paid. The owners had sent her several eviction notices to which she ignored, Finally I receive a call from her husband telling me they were putting her things on the street. He was out of town with their son to a national basketball championship game the son was in.

He called me and I offered to go get the 2 girls and we would make arrangements to go get their belongings the following morning with the owners approval. My husband went to her house, retreived the girls and there was the "new" guy. Hiding in the kitchen.

The emotional healing started for the kids, now with their dad after he went to court and got custidy. My first late night phone call came in April at 4 am. She was in the hospital severely beaten.

When my husband and I arrived there was an officer there with her taking her report and pictures. I can honestly tell you I didn't recognize her. The officer informed me Shane had not been caught. Had left the scene. He said he would finish the report when he got back to his office. But if Shane were there when we took her to get her things, the police we were to take with us, they would arrest him. Well, sure enough he was there, and no arrest was made. They said the policeman never finished the report. I was livid. Here she is severely beaten, there he is, and you can't arrest him.

We took her back to our home, and it was not 2 days, she was sneaking phone calls from and to him on her cell phone... I asked her to leave. She did. I was not going to be a part to this. Her children were my main concern. I felt if this was the kind of life she wanted not I nor anyone would change her mind. The children started seeing a therapist at school and with the love of the father, my family, and his, we got them through. Without injury? No they are scarred from being abandoned by her.

Shane continued with the verbal and physical abuse and in July 2005 was sentenced to 90 days in jail. Kris and his friend got him out on early release. They went to live with some friends of his and it kept getting worse and worse. It tore me up inside that she couldn't see what she was doing to her and her children and her father and I. I will leave out some of the trivial things such as forcing her to give her checks to him, not allowing her to eat, not letting her see her children, although he could see his son.

He had severe sexual habits and a sickness for child pronography as well as not being able to have a normal sexual relationship. He would masterbate several times a day.

The second call came in January of this year at 6:00 in the morning, begging me to come to get her. (by this time they were in a shabby motel paying by the week) She was saying he was going to kill her.. after the many times in the past that were not mentioned in this, I assumed this was another spat of theirs, but something in her voice, made my heart skip. I KNEW she was in trouble. I called my son and we took my other daughters van to go get her. She was waiting outside for us. She had taken his spare car key to get the cell phone she bought that he was using. He had told her if he found out she had it, he would do the jail time because he would be out long before she would be out of her coma. He had beat her again. We took her to my house, then I took her to the police to file another domesic violence report on him. We found a large amount of child pronography on his cell phone and turned that in as well. We ended up getting his hard drive to his computer from a friends house and turning that in as well. Mind you this is January. With my baggering to the police and the prosecutors office, there was finally a warrant issued for domesic violense in LATE MARCH. Kris had found out he was working and called the police to let them know where is was... He was picked up. This is the start of a long ordeal for all. Kris ended up getting a personal protection order against him which he violated on numerous occasions, to which we had to pay to have him served with show cause hearings dates for this. During this time, a court date for the domestic set on Thursday and the show cause scheduled on the next day. On Thursday he refused to plead to the 2nd offense and the prosecutor dropped that and reissued as a felony 3rd offense. He had done jail time for his ex-girlfriend, the mother of his son. On Friday, the judge found him guilty of violating the PPO and issued 15 days in jail, then he was arrested in the courtroom for a 3rd degree felony domestic. Kris in the meantime was put on medication for depression and anxiety, sought counceling, and finally went back to work. Oh the court dates took their toll. He got an attorney who tried his best to tear her and I up on the witness stand. I didn't break. She almost did. I had to push and push the police and the prosecutors office for the child pronography until finally a warrant was issued, But the prosecutor was making deals with them. His final sentencing was 270 days in jail, no contact with the victum, 7 years probation, and he has to register as a sex offender for the next 25 years. I have lost her. She continues in a destructive path, meeting up with men off the internet dating services. She still has no car, no children (and she hardly ever sees them), and now is staying with another friend of hers. I am left with fear for her, self doubt as a parent and the loss of a part of me that I will never get back. My daughter. There were things I did not approve of that she was doing on the computer and felt the drama was starting all over. I couldn't go through it again. I have let her go. But there is not a minute in my life that she is not here in my prayers and thoughts and heart. Will there be a happy ending for her? Well, being alive is a good start. It will be up to her to do the rest.

My name is Sharon at 3 years old my house was on fire. A man 3 doors down ran in the home and saved me and my brothers. My mother was raising 6 of us onher own and when this man saved us my Mom flet she owed him and a little while down the line, my Mom and this man got married.

That's when it all started.

My brother Robbie had cancer and was getting worse by the day. My Mom was always at the hospital by his side. He died when he was only 8 years old when he lost his battle to cancer. At home it was me and my 3 brothers and my older sister and I was about 4 years old when I got my first black eye by this man that I called Dad. He beat my Mom so many times I lost count and there were times I thought he killed her.

I remember the cops coming to the door at times but always left cause back then if people were married the cops couldn't really do anything and when the cops drove away my Mom got beat more and all of us kids would scream and cry. Daddy please stop and then we would get beat and sent to our rooms.

To this day people look at me like I'm making up stories cause my childhood was like something you'd see on a horror show on T.V. I still don't understand why or how a person can hurt another person or child the way he did to my family and I.

My sister left home when she was only 16 to a man she didn't even love...Just to get out of the house and now this man started raping me when I was only 8 years old till I was about maybe 11. So for 3 years I had to do this. He said if I ever said anything he'd kill my Mom and my brothers and I believed him so I never said a word. I was so scared and hated what he did but I was so scared he would kill my family. I was just a little girl.

Anyways, the beating on me and my family kept going on until I was about 12. My brothers got older and it was time to save my Mom so my 3 brothers protected Mom and we finally got him out of our house and out of our lives.

My Mom broke upen this metal box he would never let anyone in and inside was his prison release papers. This man was in prison for 15 years for beating and raping a 7 year old little girl.

God if my Mom only knew. She threw the papers on the floor screaming "NO, NO," and looked at me and said she was so sorry. We didn't know and she would have never gotten with him if she knew this.

This is why Megan's Law is SOOOO important because they can get into peoples homes the same way he got into ours and if women know they won't let them into hurt their kids!!!

I have had alot of hard times with things, but I'm pulling my life together. I have 4 wonderful kids and they are safe and happy kids. That is all that matters to me (Safe & Happy)

Thank you and remember they don't love you if they beat you!!!

Sharon

I am a Survivor!...You can be too!

By the age of 12, I had been molested by two members of the family. I grew up believing in the words of if someone touches you in any way you know is wrong, tell someone. I did run and tell the first time to be believed by some, not by others, and still yet by some it was a hidden secret that is still not known by some. The second time believing that no matter what- nothing would happen to him like the first one so I didn't say anything to anybody. With every relationship on i just went through the motions...Every one was the same it's just what I learn to expect. i have been physically, sexually, and mentally abused. I want people to understand that you strip a person all the way down when you do that to someone. It shouldn't be that we're told it's our fault that we are treated that way. I have not only physical scars but mental scars. I am so protective over my life and my children's lives. I get told too protective - but I don't think you can ever be too cautious - after all I came from a very strict and good family. You can't tell who is and who isn't by looking at them. If I could say something and all the world hear it, I would tell them please if one person doesn't believe you or for some reason in their minds can't help you - PLEASE...tell someone until you are heard!

It took me removing my oldest child to my parents home to protect her(which was one of the hardest things I ever had to do). I had it in my head that there was nobody that could help me at that point. At least she was safe. I was married to a preacher's son, they all knew it and couldn't help me, I thought nobody could. My eyes were opened the day my son crawled in between us as the physical abuse was going on and something went off and said…"If you don't leave, it may be him that's next." I couldn't bare the thought of another child being affected by my choices. Even worse I couldn’t bare the thought of him hurting my baby. I got help, I moved on, and better yet...I made the right choices to end the abuse. He's not allowed anywhere near my child. You can make it stop. I'm living proof of years of abuse now trying to raise my kids aware and safe. This is the first time I've ever told this publicly. Only a few close people know my life and all the details. It would take a while- I started being abused before the age 12 and it ended at the age of 34. By the grace of God he had other plans for me a saved my life so many times. I thank Prevent Future Abuse for the quilt and the healing that will come out of it. You never get over the abuse; you just learn to live past it and try to help someone else in the meantime. I'm here for anyone to talk to if needed. LOVE DOESN'T HAVE TO HURT! TELL SOMEONE...MAKE THE ABUSE STOP!!

Thank you, Karen

Hello!

My story is like so many others unfortunately. I and my three sisters were sexually abused by our biological father for most of our childhood. Starting from before we could even speak and continuing until our teens. As you know, the abuse was something that we never talked about, not even to one another. I do remember people talking about it though. But nothing was ever done. My mother was an alcoholic. And could only tell people about what my father was when she was drunk. That usually meant running outside screaming. Begging for help. So I guess the neighbors just didn’t believe her. Or they just didn’t want to get involved. I remember mom leaving my father many times over the years. Taking us to different places. And he would always find us somehow. He abused my mother physically. Broke fingers, ribs. He even had her committed for over a year one time. Needless to say my sisters and I did not come away from that childhood without scars. We lived our lives as adults the best way we knew to do. I tried to put the abuse behind me and continue on with my life. I got pregnant when I was 17, and married my high school boyfriend. I have five daughters and have been married to him for 23 years now. He is truly a gift from God.

Back in December of 1999, my sisters and I traveled back to where we grew up, and prosecuted our father for the abuse we suffered as children. We were very afraid, and didn’t know the laws nor how we should even go about it. He was given 15 years a piece so I thought. But he will be out for time served in Aug. of 2007. He raped my youngest sister when she was only 6 years old. And I just couldn’t believe it when they said that he would be out next year. I felt so powerless and hopeless when I came back home from that last parole hearing back in Feb. of this year. I felt like that little child again. Powerless to do anything and feeling that it was just so unfair. I remember being in my kitchen, I had regressed back to that little child....and I just stood there, screaming, pleading to God to help me do something to keep another child from going through what we did. And then He gave me the song, BE A VOICE. I am NOT a good speaker, and I don't even think that I'm mentally strong enough to handle working with abuse victims. But I can sing about it. Its hard exposing myself like that to everyone, but I have decided that I have to put all those things aside. The shame, the fear, and concentrate on getting that message out to people. That we HAVE TO BE A VOICE for them. Its our job as human beings to get involved. To shed light on this ugly secret that no one wants to know about. We have come so far in this fight because of organizations like yours, but you know there is still so much more to do. If there was ever a worthy cause, THIS WOULD BE IT! I promise you that I am going to sing this song at every concert I am a part of. And I'm going to share my story. I sing with a traveling gospel group, and we just put Be A Voice on our last album. So it will be part of our lineup at every concert.

I had mentioned that I have 5 girls, and like the statistics, one of them was molested by a Sunday School at our previous church. I prosecuted him, when I said that I wanted to make some ribbons for people to wear supporting their stand on ending abuse, my daughter said that they should be white ribbons to show innocence. And that tells me that she understands that she wasn’t at fault. Something that I am just coming to realize for myself. Please let me help you with my song. If you need the lyrics, or music, anything just let me know and I will send them to you. I have a MySpace page with a video clip of my sister and I along with some of my girls singing it at www.myspace.com/yvonneg06 I am one of many survivors that thanks you from the bottom of her heart for all that you do in this war against our innocent.

BE A VOICE!

Yvonne :)

It’s sad to say that these days abuse happens to even teens. I am now 26 years old facing my past. I used to be an addict of Meth and alcohol so I wouldn't have to deal with the hurt and anger. Then I met my daughter's father by coincidence of a night of drunkenness and got away from the Meth and 3 months later became pregnant. Changed my life and am happy to say that I am now a Christian. But having her has brought up my past of abuse from the time I was 15-17. When I was 15 I got together with a boy. Thought I loved him. Well I was used to having sex with whoever I wanted. And I cheated on him. When my sister told him what happened he doubled up his fist and hit me in the jaw. Oh I forgot to mention that when I was 14 I was molested. My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad moved to Wisconsin. My mom went to school full time and worked full time. I had a sister I was the oldest of us two. Anywho. The fist in the jaw was just the beginning of the abuse. I had told him about being molested when I was 14. One day he decided to pin me down and start laughing in my face and started to do the things the guy did to me when I was 14. He would say things like "does this remind you of him? I hope it does!" And he would laugh insanely in my face. I would try to fight him but it would just make it worse. Why didn't I go to my mom right? What was she going to do? I didn't trust she was capable of doing anything. Not to mention I thought I loved this boy. I was a scared, confused, VERY lost 15 year old child. We had our ups and downs. Sometimes he was nice. Sometimes he wasn't. I was with him for 2 years. If I didn't want to have sex he would force me to. If he found out I was exercising to try to keep my figure he would beat me up because he thought I was trying to look good for other guys. He always thought I was cheating on him. He made me run away instead of going to church camp for a week. He threatened to kill me all the time. He once stuck a plastic bag over my bag until I passed out. He hit me over the head with a telephone. He left softball size bruises all over me. I would tell his mom about it. Her response? "If you don't like it, leave." Great huh? So for 2 years I was beaten, raped, sodomized, almost killed a couple times, threatened.... and many other things. He forced me to have sex with his friends. He cheated on me of course. Why didn't I go to the police? I was too scared. I thought for sure he'd kill me.

So what eventually happened? I was old enough to go to work. While there I made a male friend. He somehow saw one of my bruises and put two and two together. Told me if I truly wanted away from him he'd help me. So I took the help. I ended up marrying this man 4 years later. However then we ended up divorcing 2 years after our marriage. But its sad. The abuse happens in children, and in teenagers.

A lot happened after that. I ended up in a lot of abusive relationships after that. I always thought I wasn't worth much. Pretty much settled for what I could. Did drugs, drank alcohol, got piercings and tattoos. Didn't think me or my body was worth anything more. But eventually I met a man had my daughter. After having my daughter I started going to church. While I was pregnant I seeked out counseling, saw a psychiatrist, and still see both. I have since learned I am worth MUCH MUCH more. I am a strong woman and no one is worth going through what I went through. I am now building a strong secure future and surroundings for my daughter. I have successfully been working with her father to stay in her life and make sure she knows she is loved and supported and that no matter what she can come to me or her family. I know my daughter well and I want to know her well so I know what signs to look for when she starts changing or when things are going wrong in her life. If I see she’s feeling sad or that she can't talk to me, then I will take her to someone she can, I will get her help, I will do the things that need to be done to make sure she is safe. I will make sure she is not around people who could be harmful. I use common sense, and I keep myself clean and sober.

I just wish more people would use their common sense especially when it comes to their kids because that’s what is most needed. Most of the times when accidents happen its because common sense wasn't used. If your child is in the bath, wait to make that phone call you were needing to make AFTER they aren't in the bathtub. Take everything off the tables, off the floor, vacuum twice so they don't find something little and choke on it. Don't leave them with something because you had no choice.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!!!!! Sometimes I just want to smack those people that say "I didn't have a choice....." Its those people that you say it was my last option that hurt your babies.... If you've had someone babysitting your kid all week and you want to go out Friday night find a new babysitter because I guarantee that babysitters patience is warn with your children and they are gonna say "I'm SO sorry I didn't mean to I was just so fed up!!!!" And that’s when accidents happen!!! Every person, whether criminal or not... every human being has a breaking point in their patience, whether it be with a child or an adult. If they are having a bad day, a bad week, a bad month. EVERYONE has a breaking point. It could be a child speaking back to them, a child mimics them, a child constantly cries.... that’s when a child gets shaken, gets smacked too hard...

IT HAPPENS!!

PLEASE STOP AND THINK BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!!!! YOU choose your babysitter!!! You choose when to go out!

You ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!!!!!!

Do whatever you can for your children...Don't let them become divided from their America...My Little Girls and My Little Boys First Amendment!!!!!

My little girls and my little boys first amendment lingers on to many school days from their erstwhile of memoirs. When they pledged the allegiance to the flag of The United State of America. When they prayed with their hand upon their heart, to never become divided from their America. Desecration of the flag or is it desecration of the heart? Desecration of the flag? YES!! Then united we fall, with no freedom, liberty, justice or one nation under GOD at all!!

My little girls and my little boys frist amendment is: Gods true love, the TEN COMMANDMENTS, Freedom, liberty, justice and ONE NATION UNDER GOD FOR ALL OF US!!

With this: it's GODS eternal love and prayer that kept my little girls and my little boys first amendment in all the courtroom, classroom walls and hearts not bare. And ONE NATION UNDER GOD. And their American Flag from ever being burned at all.

Written by: Lorita E. Aldana - Haywood
©2000

My name is Ashley I'm 19 years old. I was physically abused by my ex boyfriend Roger. He beat me so bad that I was in a coma for 6 months and I had to re-learn how to walk, talk and eat.

Everything that people take for granted today.

This happened when I was 14 years old. He lied and said I fell, but he really threw me.

I am a survivor of abuse and I want people to know it can happen to anyone if you let it.

Don't stay with someone who does that cause that's what I did and it put me in the hospital.

My name is Heather. I am a Survivor of Rape and Sexual Assault.

I was raped at 16, in 2001. I was beaten up by a man threathening to kill me if I didn't let him rape me when I was 19, 2005.

I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!